Benjamin M Soto has worked for decades building his private firm, Premium Title & Escrow, LLC, and making sure his clients have smooth and secure real estate transactions. He works tenaciously with small business owners, residential customers, and larger entities that leverage real estate assets to achieve profit goals. This level of trust is built over time and results in a reputation for sustained effort and for acting as a unified team with his clients.
Soto has found the same to be true of marriage and of raising a happy, productive family. Hard work and mutual respect are crucial, but he and his wife of 27 years have discovered that decades of marriage require both partners to work together to foster deeper companionship. This means open, honest communication, sharing in each other’s growth, and choosing to love your partner every day, despite the challenges. These must be conscious choices, and each partner should actively demonstrate this love.
Communicate with Intention
Early in his career, Benjamin M Soto handled personal and commercial bankruptcy cases. He saw firsthand how financial problems can negatively affect married couples. Often, each partner had different dreams for the future. Whether it is buying a larger home, having children, or taking a European vacation, it is important to communicate without judgment or harsh criticism. In a marriage, you must first understand each other’s passions, motives, and overall life dreams.
It’s not about simply making a physical connection, but an emotional connection that takes into account the other person’s well-being. You can only cultivate a shared desire for shared experiences by communicating with intention. This means being curious about each other’s preferences and keeping a positive attitude when sharing those desires.
Communicating with intention can even be applied to the details of marriage, those things that may seem trivial, but actually have a big impact on family happiness. Consider frequent date nights when communicating can be lighthearted and fun. Take a kid-free vacation each year to foster intimacy. Even a random overnight getaway can prevent the relationship from drifting into complacency or a “roommate-type” marriage.
Nurturing Growth in each other
Stagnation in interests, careers, friends, or family can be detrimental to any relations. An old bit of wisdom states
‘a strong marriage requires active, wise participation, like tending a garden that needs daily care to flourish.’ One goal in a healthy marriage is to proactively promote growth in each other. When this is accomplished, Soto believes that a deep partnership is built, with a foundation rooted in appreciating and supporting each other’s goals.
A growth mindset involves shifting from criticism to curiosity, seeing challenges as a way to learn more about your partner. Nurturing in a relationship means bringing focus and attention to each other’s positive qualities and unique gifts.
One way to nurture growth is to break predictable routines and add fresh, exciting surprises. When a couple nurtures growth in their partner, they actively support their partner’s personal projects, show genuine interest in their work, and are willing to understand their goals and aspirations.
Overcoming Challenges and Choosing Love
Benjamin M Soto believes the real challenge in staying married for decades lies in the couple’s ability to overcome challenges. Financial problems, troubles communicating, and a loss of interest in one or both partners are just a few reasons for the staggering divorce rates. Often, it is individual issues that lead to divorce, but it is a common effort that keeps marriages strong and lasting.
It is best to be proactive when challenges arise. That entails having strong, honest communication before situations become taxing. Soto believes one of the best ways to overcome disagreements is by practicing active listening and learning how to express concerns constructively.`Also, each partner must agree to choose a loving, patient, and kind relationship. Actually, challenges in marriage are the perfect way to express love for your partner.
Being emotionally mature, nurturing each other’s growth, and maintaining clear, honest communication can be key to a marriage lasting many years. The witty poet, Franklin P. Jones, famously said, “Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile,” highlighting its importance in adding joy to life and meaning to marriage.
